Heh, i haven't forgot about you my dear holga. I'll get you soon. I'm currently
broke. I'll buy you after promos and engage in massive photo-taking! Yay!
Gosh and i read my past few posts. For once i think i had some substance but it's some freaky emo stuff. That's not me! Ahhh. I'll turn back to normal. Though the stars hate me right now, i CANNOT remain like this. I'm going nuts. Why am i shutting myself down when i can choose otherwise.
It's true that i said its easy to ask people to have hope. It's true that its hard to hang on. But if i make the effort at least i'll feel better. Besides whats there for me to be sad of. The sky didn't fall on my head and the whole world didn't come crashing on me. Everything is fine. Only when i think it's not fine, it won't be. I'm still as blessed as ever, compared to many others. I don't have a reason to frown. I have everything that i need. Why must i feel incomplete for something that i want? No, i'm not gonna fret anymore.
Even if i do lose my entire life i still have a reason to smile. You guys around me are awesome. Nobody ever let me sit down and stone peacefully. Even when i'm at home you guys made sure i'm alright. I'm not talking about any particular group of friends here. I mean everyone. Those who're super close to me, who knew what's wrong, and those who are not too. One way or another when you guys saw me dazed, you guys did make sure i smiled. My dragons, deybros, dinos, tl anjax, jc schoolmates, princess, prayers friends, family, other friends and all my other online friends who always respond to my emo posts by saying "I've never seen you type like that before". All of you are one reason why i should be back to normal.
And of course, god. I'm not very pious or anything. I do have my times where i forget to pray. But when i pray, i'm trying to make sure i am in sincere in what i say. Throughout all the times i've cried at home, i've cried infront of you. And once i sob out everything, i did feel much lighter, and it's because of you too. If i have so many people trying to console me, it's because you're making them do so. So many coincidences occur in my life till now to remind me of everything all over again. Like everyday i'll see something and get reminded. But i know you're making me go through this so that i can get numb. And yes i have gotten better cos of this. I don't feel so miserable anymore when i chance upon something familiar. And incidences have happened which clearly tell me that i am loved by you, what more do i need? I can't explain all those incidences here, but i know what i'm feeling. I'll listen to your words and leave everything in your hands. Nobody knows the best for me than you. You closed one door but opened so many other doors. I'm realising everything now. My life is not just normal now but it's better than before. How can i let one small bad incident overpower every other good thing that's happening now? Life's a good balance. There are equal amounts of good and bad stuff that happen in a day. I think it's up to me to decide on which will overpower the other.
I can talk like this forever but i think it's time i tried my words into actions. At the end of the day, i know i love god. I know i love the people around me. And i know the experiences i had which taught me alot of lessons. The relationships i have built with people is what is making me survive today. What i've done to them is what is coming back to me. I'm talking about both good and bad stuff. We cannot escape from karma. What goes around must come around. I'll think twice before i do anything from now on. That's the only way we can do good to others and ourselves.
Well i think now it's time i stopped blogging and went to resume work. I'll be more than happy if all those souls around me feeling as miserable as i used to feel read this and felt better. No matter what, i love you guys. Nothing can beat that. Thank you for always being the sweetest people around (:
