I think i should stop making myself feel so disturbed! Ahh. But it's uncontrollable. I need my conscience to step out and control my every move and thought. I totally lost my self discipline lah. I can't even force myself to finish a tiny question nowadays -.- Gosh.

And i don't want to end up hating myself because of everything that has happened/is happening! That's my worst horror. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. Nooooo jana is not an emo freak.

Things are running the opposite way now. Sucks big time to be me. I'm counting my days and i'm seeing how long i take to recover. I can't wait till the day i say i'm totally unaffected. I don't know how long it's gonna take. But i will wait! One thing's for sure. Good things never last. And happiness is shortlived. Super super short. A blink and POOF.

Many many many thoughts are running on my mind now. Different feelings too. I'm vulnerable. I'm apathetic. I'm affected. I'm miserable. I'm strong. I know my priorities. I have my life. I need to wait for things to settle. I'm impatient. Thats exactly how i'm feeling now. Lol. I never knew such a thing could affect me till this extent. It has never happened to me. I wasn't traumatised for such a long period of time for anything else. That's exactly what's worrying me because this is so not me! I am not an emo freak!! I'm a happy go lucky idiot who doesn't really get bothered by such stuff. All the previous times i could just throw it off my mind and return back to normal in days. Look at me now! And it's super scary how i'm quietening down. Stoning was a good habit for me last time, now it's a total no-no!

Gosh but i have to make myself believe that this thing isn't affecting/gonna affect me. I'm affected by hmm school. Who can't be affected by AJC -.- Nobody and i really mean nobody except us actually feel guilty for falling asleep cos we didn't finish our work. Look at how much we're driven! And yet results are sucky thanks to the alien language papers. Gosh promos in a month or so and i'm still stuck with alot of other work to do! Hopefully by september holidays i'm free enough to start finishing up my tutorials!

Okay it's really great to have you my dear blog. Nobody listens to me like you do. <3

I think i should stop making myself feel so disturbed! Ahh. But it's uncontrollable. I need my conscience to step out and control my every move and thought. I totally lost my self discipline lah. I can't even force myself to finish a tiny question nowadays -.- Gosh.

And i don't want to end up hating myself because of everything that has happened/is happening! That's my worst horror. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. I am not an emo freak. Nooooo jana is not an emo freak.

Things are running the opposite way now. Sucks big time to be me. I'm counting my days and i'm seeing how long i take to recover. I can't wait till the day i say i'm totally unaffected. I don't know how long it's gonna take. But i will wait! One thing's for sure. Good things never last. And happiness is shortlived. Super super short. A blink and POOF.

Many many many thoughts are running on my mind now. Different feelings too. I'm vulnerable. I'm apathetic. I'm affected. I'm miserable. I'm strong. I know my priorities. I have my life. I need to wait for things to settle. I'm impatient. Thats exactly how i'm feeling now. Lol. I never knew such a thing could affect me till this extent. It has never happened to me. I wasn't traumatised for such a long period of time for anything else. That's exactly what's worrying me because this is so not me! I am not an emo freak!! I'm a happy go lucky idiot who doesn't really get bothered by such stuff. All the previous times i could just throw it off my mind and return back to normal in days. Look at me now! And it's super scary how i'm quietening down. Stoning was a good habit for me last time, now it's a total no-no!

Gosh but i have to make myself believe that this thing isn't affecting/gonna affect me. I'm affected by hmm school. Who can't be affected by AJC -.- Nobody and i really mean nobody except us actually feel guilty for falling asleep cos we didn't finish our work. Look at how much we're driven! And yet results are sucky thanks to the alien language papers. Gosh promos in a month or so and i'm still stuck with alot of other work to do! Hopefully by september holidays i'm free enough to start finishing up my tutorials!

Okay it's really great to have you my dear blog. Nobody listens to me like you do. <3