Gosh i dont know what im becoming. Its like im going into and out of trance. I can't get hold of myself. One moment im fine and another moment im going haywire. This endless load of work is making everything worse. I thought it'll make me busy enough to shut my mind but its not working. I dont know but i dont like what im feeling now. Gosh i was never like this before. Im becoming a maniac. Before i pull off all my hair i have to do something about this. I lost my drive. I lost my aims. I lost my mind. I suck seriously. I wish my conscience stepped out of me, slapped me and made me normal again. Now i realise. Asking people to have hope that everything will become fine one day are just mere words. Easy to say. Easy to believe in. Fucking hard to hang on there. I don't wanna shut stuff like this inside but i can't do anything else but that.

Gosh i'm starting to dislike myself. I've yet to use the word hate. I dont wanna become some emo freak. I hate to stay at home alone these days. I dont want moments where i stop and stone for so long that i forget everything around me. This can't happen now. When will i ever snap out of this.

Promos in 45 days. Yet to have started on anything. And in the weekdays i cannot do any shit. FML.

Gosh i dont know what im becoming. Its like im going into and out of trance. I can't get hold of myself. One moment im fine and another moment im going haywire. This endless load of work is making everything worse. I thought it'll make me busy enough to shut my mind but its not working. I dont know but i dont like what im feeling now. Gosh i was never like this before. Im becoming a maniac. Before i pull off all my hair i have to do something about this. I lost my drive. I lost my aims. I lost my mind. I suck seriously. I wish my conscience stepped out of me, slapped me and made me normal again. Now i realise. Asking people to have hope that everything will become fine one day are just mere words. Easy to say. Easy to believe in. Fucking hard to hang on there. I don't wanna shut stuff like this inside but i can't do anything else but that.

Gosh i'm starting to dislike myself. I've yet to use the word hate. I dont wanna become some emo freak. I hate to stay at home alone these days. I dont want moments where i stop and stone for so long that i forget everything around me. This can't happen now. When will i ever snap out of this.

Promos in 45 days. Yet to have started on anything. And in the weekdays i cannot do any shit. FML.