And as soon as i realise it's not right for me to be in, i fall back in again. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need someone to slap me into reality. Sha's the right person. Whenever i talk about this i'll get scolded. Lol. If i do anything further i think she'll scream at me and scold me left, right, up, down.

And i need someone to wake me up everyday. -.- today morning three people woke me up and i had 9 alarms BUT i still overslept. I'm a freaking swine. I need to devise a way to wake up every morning. Maybe set secret alarms around my house. Ahhhh mummy faster come back. Without you i am nothing! No peace, no company, no food, no laughter at home, no one to pour my feelings out at home, no one to crap with at home! Daddy comes home late and i don't dare complain to him about my life! All i can get is CWO! T.T

I need to stay focused. I want someone to scare me till my death if i break this promise i'm making myself today. I'm not gonna say what is it here. But i need to stick to it, till the time period ends. If i break it, i'm gonna label myself irresponsible, and indisciplined and become an emo freak, though the possible decision i would be taking to break the promise should be doing me good and bringing me happiness. Lol. No. I shouldn't do what i want to do. I should do what is the right thing to do. What i want to do only gives me short-lived happiness for now. And that translates to long-lived sadness later. If i suffer and endure now, later i can be relieved at least, and have some peace, even if i'm not exactly happy. No more drama in my life. There are some things i need to achieve before stepping into the next phase. I'll do them, and till then, no elements in my life that the next phase contains would be serious. If they exist, they will exist as mere entertainment, to bring me out of reality for a while. Lol, i know nobody's going to understand this chunk. I understand can already :x

And as soon as i realise it's not right for me to be in, i fall back in again. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need someone to slap me into reality. Sha's the right person. Whenever i talk about this i'll get scolded. Lol. If i do anything further i think she'll scream at me and scold me left, right, up, down.

And i need someone to wake me up everyday. -.- today morning three people woke me up and i had 9 alarms BUT i still overslept. I'm a freaking swine. I need to devise a way to wake up every morning. Maybe set secret alarms around my house. Ahhhh mummy faster come back. Without you i am nothing! No peace, no company, no food, no laughter at home, no one to pour my feelings out at home, no one to crap with at home! Daddy comes home late and i don't dare complain to him about my life! All i can get is CWO! T.T

I need to stay focused. I want someone to scare me till my death if i break this promise i'm making myself today. I'm not gonna say what is it here. But i need to stick to it, till the time period ends. If i break it, i'm gonna label myself irresponsible, and indisciplined and become an emo freak, though the possible decision i would be taking to break the promise should be doing me good and bringing me happiness. Lol. No. I shouldn't do what i want to do. I should do what is the right thing to do. What i want to do only gives me short-lived happiness for now. And that translates to long-lived sadness later. If i suffer and endure now, later i can be relieved at least, and have some peace, even if i'm not exactly happy. No more drama in my life. There are some things i need to achieve before stepping into the next phase. I'll do them, and till then, no elements in my life that the next phase contains would be serious. If they exist, they will exist as mere entertainment, to bring me out of reality for a while. Lol, i know nobody's going to understand this chunk. I understand can already :x